The Sparrow

My dear Kate,

It is a joy to tell you that I don't have much to share about your health because you are PERFECT.  It is so often that things get quiet in the car, in the house, or when I steal away to the laundry room (no one likes to go in there...it involves work!) that I am brought to tears by God's kindness to you.  You are a baby filled with joy, and when I look in your eyes I'm so thankful you have no idea that you have a chart in Portland at a Cystic Fibrosis clinic or that you have been eating gravel (pancreatic enzymes) since you were four weeks old.  Life just goes from one smile to another for you.  You bring us all so much joy.  You ate your first avocado yesterday (six months old!!) with coconut oil and salt (needed for CF patients) and you gobbled it up!  You knew exactly what to do with real food because you've been eating enzymes since August!  It was fun to watch you keep opening your mouth like a sweet little bird for more, more, more. 

Silly picture with Mommy after a bath.  5 months old

I was perusing Pinterest last night for ideas for decorating the room you and Sarah share.  It was fun to look and dream as if I had all the time and money in the world.  I kept running across a photograph of a room someone had done where they had put vinyl lettering on the walls.  One wall over the crib had "His eye is on the sparrow" and on another wall they had a tree and above it the words "and I know he watches me."  I looked up the lyrics because I hadn't seen them or heard the song in so long and was brought to tears.  He. Is. Faithful.  Am I getting redundant?  I don't ever for one minute, Kate, want you to doubt it and what it means. I think I am still trying to grasp it myself!  It means he is close.  He is real.  He is present.  He watches over you.  I know he does! I see it in how well you are. Even if you weren't, it doesn't change HIM. I love him, and he's been so kind!   He sees the sparrow and knows it.  That little sparrow never wonders or worries about home or shelter or life.  Jesus is our portion, and that is the treasure.  It is the hope during the most difficult days of being a mom to five precious lives.  It is the most difficult, draining, challenging work I've ever done, and I fail every single day.  But, God doesn't.  He gives grace and mercy when I really don't want to.  Why do I feel the need for my own justice when all he's ever given us is free, unmerited favor? 

 

His Eye is on the Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged,

Why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home, when Jesus is my portion?

My constant Friend is He: His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. Refrain: I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free, For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. “Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear, And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears; Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise, When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies, I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me; His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

God loves you, Kate Elisabeth.