Friday, August 26, 2011

Made it!

Hello little love,
We made it through your first full day of pancreatic enzymes (8x a day/every day), vitamins (one dose daily) and 1/2 a Vitamin K tablet that you only will be taking M-W-F. Phew. We ended with a bang, though, just a bit ago when you threw up all of the last of eight daily doses of enzymes along with curds of milk. *Sigh. I looked you in the eyes a lot today, my sweet daughter. I told you how much I love you, how I will always take care of you, how thankful I am for you. Nothing about this disease will ever change that. I know things will get hard, but I hope that day is far down the road. There were glimpses of how much work this will take, but we are committed to you and will do anything and everything for you. Oh, and you're in luck, Kate, because you have four siblings who looooovvvvve you so BIG! They will always be a huge support for you, too.

So, as we dealt with logistics, I also prayed scripture over you. We have a chalkboard just outside our kitchen with this verse written large; I had written it on the board even before you were born. The Lord had begun to speak it over me even in those final days before your birth. I knew there would be postpartum fatigue and adjustment, but I mercifully didn't know then how much more there would be. This is the verse I have been speaking over you, Kate. I will never stop, and I pray that His word will sink down deep for you in the days ahead. He loves you, Kate; he made you so carefully and with such love, and for HIS purposes.

Find rest, O my soul,
in God alone,
my hope comes from him,
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress.
I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62: 5-6

Here is more hope, Kate. HE IS OUR REFUGE.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:77-8

So many people have commented about your Dad's and my strong faith. It has come up time and time again in these last days. It feels not so much strong, because my flesh feels all over the place. It does feel secure. I know that in the same way I, as your mom, will do everything I can to protect you and love you, my Savior has already done that for me by redeeming me with his death and triumphant resurrection! He loves us more than we can fathom. It's a real, personal love. So I rest knowing that my fears, hurts, hopes, and dreams for you are secure with my Savior. Paul wrote while he was in prison: For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed [emphasis mine] and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day. 2 Timothy 1:12

We know whom we have believed, Kate, and he is so good.

1 comment:

  1. My prayers and thoughts are with you throughout my day, every day. Love you, sister. -Arden <><